Dancing Co-Ed (1939, dir. W. Sylvan Simon) is so bad it made my stomach hurt. That's a shame, 'cause it has some things going for it, including very lovely and attractive Lana Turner and Ann Rutherford, very swingin' Artie Shaw and reliable funnymen Monty Wooley and Leon Errol. Ultimately, it's done in by a so-so script and a truly rotten performance by Richard Carlson, playing one of those real jerks you see sometimes in old movies, the kind who always seem to end up with the girl. Lee Bowman and Mary Beth Hughes(!) are Monarch Pictures' answer to Fred 'n' Ginger, but their next picture, Dancing Co-Ed, has hit a snag: Mary Beth's rabbit died. So Monarch hatches a publicity plot to find Lee's new dancing partner; they'll choose an actual college co-ed from a nationwide search. They hedge their bet by taking the girl the want, Miss Turner, and sticking her into Midwestern University (with studio secretary Miss Rutherford as her roomie and taker-of-tests) as a plant, and they'll simply choose her. Only college reporter Mr. Carlson gets wind of the plot and decides to ferret out the mole (don't you wish you could write like this?) not knowing it's Lana, who likes college life more than she likes dancing and she likes Carlson even though he's a jerk. Artie Shaw plays music, Professor Wooley and Lana's pop Leon provide some laughs, and Carlson stinks up the joint. Million-dollar Dialog: Lana to the jerk: 'I don't think it's proper for a girl to let a fellow kiss her until she's known him for at least two hours.' College Dean: 'I'm afraid, Miss Marlowe, that your sense of humor has been somewhat warped by our modern trend toward vulgarism.' Emcee at the Dance: 'Her father's a judge but he can't stop her from swingin'!' Million-dollar Sign on a Campus Wall: Promo for the campus play: 'Hamlet by Buddy Cleaver, based on a play by W. Shakespeare' Lee Bowman is no favorite of mine, but sans mustache and doin' a little hoofing, he's actually okay here. I'm not too familiar with the work of Artie Shaw, but his band is excellent in this picture. Miss Turner was one of his 67 wives (or was it 68?), none of whom served longer than a day and a half. Not a good one.